"I'm proud of it!": 21st Century Mom Who Hasn't Jumped on the Facebook Bandwagon

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And she probably won't anytime soon...unless setting up an account is mandated at the next LDS General Conference.

My mom has decided not to join Facebook as a matter of personal choice. She's fine that her children have accounts; she sees its merits in quickly reaching lots of people to share the Gospel; but she prefers more traditional means of communication. "I just don't think I'm programmed to use it, and I have no desire to use it. A handful of my friends are the same way."

My mom is at peace with her decision. She knows she's invited to the "party" as it were, but simply chooses not to attend. However, she realizes that there may be some parents who feel isolated if they're not actively involved in social media. While reading an article in "Parade" magazine today on a different subject, my mom found a good description of how those individuals might feel. The author of the article explained, "There's always a part of me that worries I'm one social misstep away from sitting alone in the cafeteria."

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So, what to say to the parent who wants to be informed about digital media on behalf of their family, but has an aversion to using the tools him/herself?

"Times have changed," we could say. "You've got to change along with them in order to keep up with everyone else in today's society. You should subscribe to everything good the digital world has to offer!" 

But that's not what I tell my mom. She has made changes and sacrifices for us kids for years and years, and I don't see a need for her "un-tech-savvy" identity to undergo a transformation in order for her to continue to connect with us in meaningful ways. She's not silly, paranoid, or out of touch. Old-fashioned, maybe (and "proud of it!"), but that doesn't mean she can't be informed - even digitally literate - about issues pertinent to her family. I am proud of her balanced approach to the digital revolution despite being someone who's not prone to embrace every aspect of it. And when I find myself enjoying being her personal "newsfeed" of sorts over the phone, I think I actually admire that she goes against the grain :). She has found ways to be involved in her family's digi-lives without conforming in a way that is contrary to her personal opinions.

She doesn't want a Facebook account of her own, but once in a while she'll sign on to my brother's. She'd rather stick with her anciently outdated e-mail service, but she's created a Gmail account so she can use those features when she needs to and so she can keep up with our blogs. She won't win any speed-texting competitions, but I love receiving frequent pix messages from her, whether it's to get my opinion about an item of clothing or to share a sweet photo of my new niece. She doesn't have an iPod or iPhone of her own (proudly relying on her boombox and basic cell phone, several years old now), but she has familiarized herself with these new gadgets enough to set clear restrictions/expectations for their use in our home.

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For our fireside, Digital Sweet Home wants to accentuate the positive effects of the digital age on the family, focusing on the principles of communication, trust, and unity using Church publications, statements from leaders, our personal examples and the collective wisdom of the group that attends. But our message is not that every online resource, tool, and opportunity must be embraced by parents in order to be good parents. Our goal is to educate, offering ourselves as a generational bridge, and then to encourage parents to prayerfully consider their own family's needs and act accordingly.

Two Places at Once

Ah, to be in two places at once...remember that precious scene from "A Walk to Remember"?

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Hermione Granger was able to successfully conquer the feat as well - at least temporarily (no pun intended). Today's talk of MuggleNet and such reminded me of her time-turner in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. In order to attend all the classes she wanted to, this stellar student would micro-manage that precious commodity we call time.

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The Internet, too, has allowed me to be in, well, several "places" at once. I'm looking forward to tuning in to at least a small part of the live streaming of Time Out for Women to find out what it's like, perhaps while also watching the BYU basketball game tomorrow night at the same time I am organizing my desk area, which has become a royal mess. (Note: I became aware of this streaming thanks to an email from my Grandma...and to think I ever doubted her digital awareness!)

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But just as the stress of a hectic life became overwhelming for Hermione, sometimes the 55 open tabs on Firefox slow my computer (and my sanity) down as well. And when my husband tells me that often while I'm on my laptop he feels like I'm in a different world, impossible to reach, I have to bring my thoughts and ideas and my whole self back to where my body is physically at. Because as great as it is to have magical multi-tasking capabilities, sometimes it's nice to be just in one place, all in one piece, at peace with myself apart from that always-busy, busy world.


P.S. An interesting development in the Microsoft workplace: "Your robot boss is watching you"

Musings at Midterms

Probably my favorite aspect of this semester is the fact that though my classes vary drastically in their content, the things I am learning about in each seem to overlap each other, and I’ve been enjoying the cohesion—it makes me feel like my learning is personalized, even in four institutionalized classes. I think it helps that self-directed learning is encouraged and even required in this particular class. I’m moving right along with my initial goal at the start of the semester to develop skills that will keep me learning even after I graduate.

We’ve talked a lot about reality, fiction, and the perception of what’s what in my modern American lit class. Several connections with digital culture are explored in my blog post devoted to “Slaughterhouse-Five” – but the concept that has stuck with me the most is how truth can be represented or misrepresented online, just as Vonnegut blatantly (and sometimes subtly) blends fact with fantasy. You can say anything that may or may not reflect the “truth” of things—whether it’s about current events, a presidential candidate, or yourself—and potentially (mis)inform the hundreds or thousands in your sphere of influence. Is the power of the masses too often unwisely accompanied by a collective trust, or do we need to be more vigilant in approaching the unlimited and unfiltered beast with a “buy at your own risk” attitude?

In my post about Weinberger’s“Too Big to Know,” I mentioned the connection I found in the collaborative translation of the King James Bible. I actually included Weinberger’s book in my list of potential sources in a paper proposal for my British lit class exploring the balance of openness and authority in both the Bible translation and Internet crowdsourcing. I’m not planning to write a full-length paper, but it was fun to consider, at least on a shallow level, some similarities and differences between the two time periods.

My learning has been heavily informed by my classmates. But the nature of my own interactions with these students has shifted from a consumer-heavy approach at the start of the semester (wherein I spent more time simply responding to others’ research and ideas on G+), to a stronger emphasis on creating and connecting (as I have found more direction in my personal and group learning, I’ve found a greater desire and need to collaborate about my own discoveries). I think that shift is representative of both my peer interactions and my self-directed learning. At the start of the semester, I was a bit tentative in my approach to the class—where do I begin? I found it easiest to read about the links and comments others had posted and respond to them as best I could. Now, I see the value in pursuing my interests and sharing them with others around me. I don’t need to be an expert to be sharing what I’m learning.

Forming groups for projects has helped me immensely in developing my ability to “create,”though I still have a long way to go. From here on out, I think I should take a little more time to familiarize myself with the group topics/projects I haven't looked into as much as I have the badges and lit mag - specifically the remix and collaborative writing/transmedia groups. I think my own group could benefit from seeing how these folks are creating, and I bet we could offer each other valuable feedback!

EFG (Especially For Grandparents)

Image created by Digi-Gram on SignMaker

My parents love their role as grandparents. While they have the luxury of living on the same coast as their beloved grandbabies, all five of the kiddos live at least four hours away. Ever since my parents discovered Skype- thanks to their favorite daughter's idea and webcam gift- they have loved keeping in touch with their grandkids in that medium (remember this post?). In looking for more ideas and resources specifically for grandparents using Skype and other media tools, I found a few links I'd like to share.

A Skype-ing Grandma
"Digi-Gram" tells a delightful story of Grandma Patsy, a friend who skyped her granddaughter and ended up having a tu-tu dance party in the comfort of her own home, where she could be silly and have fun and no one could see but her granddaughter! Digi-Gram then includes a list of ideas for grandparents using Skype, as well as links for setting it up and getting started. She writes,

"Consider using Skype to:

1. See Halloween costumes before your grandkids go trick or treating
2. Read a bed time story to a grandchild
3. Sing songs and do nursery rhymes with grandchildren
4. Play together with a grandchild
5. See your grandchildren dressed in their new school clothes before they leave on the first day of school
6. Wish them Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or happy birthday/Ground Hog’s Day/Flag Day, Labor Day/Easter/or whatever!
7. Color pictures together
8. Play dress up together
9. Have a virtual tea party together
10. Have cookies and milk together
11. Discuss how school is going
12. Prearrange to watch a movie then discuss it (or read a book and discuss it)
13. Send your grandchild a packet of things to make (like paper foldables) and after she makes them she can show them to you through Skype
14. Give sewing or piano lessons or teach them how to cook

The idea is to think of things that you would normally do if your grandchildren lived close by and then see if you can do it virtually using Skype."

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Here's another page that describes specific ideas for reading with your grandchildren through a webcam- including choosing books with bright colors that will show better on the screen, dressing up with an accessory or prop that goes along with your book, and setting a regular (such as weekly) time to have storytime with your grandchild.

This page highlights some other ways to use technology to connect with grandchildren, including phone and "face" (webcam) time, but also emailing short videos back and forth to each other and recording your voice in one of Hallmark's recordable storybooks.

Of course, nothing compares to actually being with your grandchildren, as Barbara Graham explains in her post "Why I Hate Skype." She laments, "It's lovely to catch glimpses of my two granddaughters in between visits. I'm grateful for the technology that (sort of) bridges the 3,000 miles between us. Still, the sight of these two little girls minus actual physical contact often leaves me feeling more yearning than joy. They seem so close, yet really they're so very far away."

In our digital sweet home establishment, we musn't forget the grandparents who may very well be eager to learn and explore the brave new digital world...especially if it allows them precious time with distant loved ones!

Recalculating

I almost wrote this blog post yesterday. And part of me doesn't care to post it today, either. Because the last thing (our proposal) I posted on my blog was specific and meaty and confident. And this post is, by comparison, kind of vague and hesitant (ok, so I'm kind of prideful). However, this is all part of the process, and so here we are. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

We received some GREAT (helpful) feedback on our project proposal last week. Thank you, reviewers! We worked hard to make our proposal thorough and cover many of the interests and ideas we'd discussed. Unfortunately (or probably fortunately), this also means that we were trying to cover too many bases and so needed to narrow our focus.

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Yes, destination not yet reached...but we can find "joy in the journey," right President Uchtdorf? Trying to enjoy the brilliant work of the other "bikers" in the class without comparing...:)

Since we began the project- and especially since realizing where we need recalculate from where we were at last week- we have been thinking and researching and discussing and thinking some more. I think my problem is that there are so many directions to go with this project and I am attached to a lot of the topics! Blogging. Teleconferencing. Internet safety. All of these things are important for families and a catch-all blog could have allowed us to explore all of these (and more) on the surface, publishing them on our blog and hoping to attract eager readers, at least for the semester. However, while we want to create something that will matter to a lot of people, it is just as important that it can REACH a lot of people!

Did I mention at the start that this post might be kind of vague? I am going to leave you hanging now as we continue to recalculate. But we are on the verge of something great, I know it! Why? We have an amazing group of individuals working on creating something meaningful for families.

Cami understands the importance of simplifying, of setting our sights on attainable goals- a voice of reason.

Audrey has personal and work experience that give her confidence that the whole group can draw from.

Jake is an efficient organizer, helping us to set deadlines and make assignments.

Allie has big dreams and works as hard and long as is necessary to accomplish them.

And I have the gift of appreciating other people and validating their great ideas.

 

Hopefully, together, we can not only enjoy this journey (including the recalculating), but also arrive at some destination that we feel good about and that can help many others to establish and maintain a happy and sweet digital home.

Proposing Our "HOME" Page

1. Project Title: Digital Sweet Home
2. Description: The goal of our project is to promote awareness of how new digital media can unify families in profound and meaningful ways. We propose to do this by creating and establishing a blog called “Digital Sweet Home” where families can gain insight into the usage of digital media.The blog will provide instructions on how to use various social medias, video chats, and other digital media available. Articles featuring success stories of families who have utilized the web to create stronger familial bonds will be posted on the blog, as well as information about keeping families safe from hacktivists, malware, and other threatening online presences.
3. Project Members:
1. Audrey Blake
2. Jake Cannon
3. Allie Crafton
4. Rebecca Graham
5. Cami Wilson
4. Social Proof
1. Evidence of Informal Social Proof
1. Rebecca’s family responded with enthusiasm when she presented the premise of the project to them. They contributed some helpful initial input about their concerns and experiences with digital technology in their individual families. They also gave examples of how technology has had a positive effect on their families. Rebecca recorded her family’s responses to provide references for the objectives and goals of the project.
2. Cami posted on Facebook to close friends and family asking why they blog. Many mentioned that they blog to keep in touch with family.
3. Cami emailed a few of her closest friends and asked them to respond to her blog posts on the family and blogging. A few of them responded with interest for their future families.
4. Jake discussed this with his family. They thought it was a good idea and were willing to share their experiences. (See Jake’s blog post)
2. Evidence of Outside Social Proof
1. Allie recently tweeted: “Collaborating with digital media enthusiasts to create a blog highlighting the ways new media unites families in unparalleled ways. Advice?” She has received attention from other social media enthusiasts who are focused on fostering love and on connecting people through social media.
2. Audrey Blake reached out to professional blogger Mary Kay Hoal to seek advice and support on the project, informing her of our project’s goal of educating families on the uses and benefits of new media today.
3. Allie sent a Facebook message to a potential interviewee, Kylie Fly Turley one of the renowned “Traveling Triplets,” asking for social proof of the project and for potential help in creating some of the content.  Kylie’s feedback was enthusiastic as she was eager to join with her sisters in helping to launch our blog.
3. Annotated List of Potential Outside Sources for Further Social Proof
1. Dr. Burton, a Brigham Young University English professor, digital media enthusiast, and family man. Dr. Burton can provide insight on how to utilize and harness the digital world for the benefit of the family world.
2. Rebecca’s Brigham Young University professor and friend from the School of Family Life: Cortney Evans, who specializes in early childhood development
3. Joshua Perkey, Senior Editor at Ensign Magazine, Senior Editor at Liahona Magazine, and Intern Coordinator for LDS Digital. Joshua Perkey can inform us of the need for a Church Magazine article on the subject of our project.
4. Shanelle Matthews at The Strong Families Initiative. Shanelle can provide us with possible contact information of new moms who have experienced positive help from using digital media who commented on her blog.
5. OK.com Your Family’s Media Guide. Members of OK.com is an example of a new media website that “enables parents to make educated decisions by giving them a set of tools to connect with a trusted online community that shares their standards and criteria."
6. The Sister Four. Selina, Sophia, Olivia, And Elise can provide us with positive examples of how their family stays united and connected via the Internet.
7. Six Sisters’ Stuff. These sisters can provide us with positive examples of how their family stays united and connected via the Internet.
8. The Internet Safety Project, where we can both read and contribute articles. Additionally, Audrey works for the professor in charge of the project.
9. BYU Magazine: The Benefits of Mommy Blogging
10. Anna Empey and capstone thesis on the positive effects of Mommy Blogging
5. Literature Review
1. Links to Blog Posts Exploring our Topic
1. Why Do YOU Mommy Blog? – Cami Wilson’s Digital Dialogue blog
2. Upwardly Evolving – Cami Wilson’s Digital Dialogue blog
3. Family Time and Internet Time – Audrey Blake’s Girl of the Twenty-First Century blog
4. Internet Safety Project – Audrey Blake’s Girl of the Twenty-First Century blog
5. Goodreads Review on Girl Wide Web 2.0 – Audrey Blake’s Girl of the Twenty-First Century blog
6. Failure to Connect – Allie Crafton’s RERO blog
7. “Family Togetherness” – Jake Cannon’s I Ran Into a Rattle Snake blog
8. What do Families Want? – Rebecca Graham’s The Garden of My Mind blog
9. Digital Sweet Home – Rebecca Graham’s The Garden of My Mind blog
10. THIS is When I Adore Technology – Rebecca Graham’s The Garden of My Mind blog
2. Books/Articles that Establish the Relevance and Importance of Our Topic
1. Girl Wide Web 2.0 by Sharon R. Mazarella
2. The Parent App: Understanding Families in the Digital Age by Lynn Schofield Clark. Clark “provides what families have been sorely lacking: smart, sensitive, and effective strategies for coping with the dilemmas of digital and mobile media in modern life.”
3. Always On: How the iPhone Unlocked the Anything-Anytime-Anywhere Future--and Locked Us In by Brian X. Chen
4. FAILURE TO CONNECT: How Computers Affect Our Children's Minds -- and What We Can Do About It by Jane M. Healy
5. A Heartbreaking Tale of Staggering Genius by David Eggers
6. The effect of Internet use on adolescents’ lifestyles: A national survey (Wang, Ligang; Luo, Jing; Luo, Jing; Gao, Wenbin; Kong, Jie Computers in Human Behavior, 2012, Vol.28(6), pp.2007-2013, November 2012)
7. Internet-based parent management training: A randomized controlled study (Enebrink, Pia; Högström, Jens; Forster, Martin; Ghaderi, Ata Behaviour Research and Therapy, 2012, Vol.50(4), pp.240-249, April 2012)
8. Safe Infant Sleep Recommendations on the Internet: Let's Google It (Chung, Matthew; Oden, Rosalind P.; Joyner, Brandi L.; Sims, Alexandra; Moon, Rachel Y. The Journal of Pediatrics, 2012)
6. Literary Component: Fiction Literary Works Providing Insight on Our Topic
1. Remains of the Day
2. V for Vendetta (Understanding hacktivism)
3. Slaughterhouse-Five: The author presents himself and other characters in both fictional and true-to-life ways; the implications of having multiple identities online. Internet safety.
7. Format & Audience
1. Audience: Families in the United States, starting with the families that we are directly connected to. We hope the audience will expand as our blog grows and improves and as others share our blog with their friends and family members!
2. Format: Blog featuring articles written by us, including research, links to resources, and interviews
3. Possibly a printed brochure to attract people to the blog
4. Article submissions to the Internet Safety Project wiki, Stance for the Family, and Church magazines
8. Success Criteria: we will also measure our success based on:
1. Do we discuss, address, and aim to help with the concerns expressed in responses to our survey?
2. Whether the blog gains an audience and/or positive feedback from outside the class
3. What we learn and incorporate in our own families from the process of working on this project
4. The publication of an article
9. Prototype
1. Google Doc
2. Notebook Sketches (below)
3. Google Forms Survey, to be administered online after further revision
4. Blog layout here