"I'm proud of it!": 21st Century Mom Who Hasn't Jumped on the Facebook Bandwagon

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And she probably won't anytime soon...unless setting up an account is mandated at the next LDS General Conference.

My mom has decided not to join Facebook as a matter of personal choice. She's fine that her children have accounts; she sees its merits in quickly reaching lots of people to share the Gospel; but she prefers more traditional means of communication. "I just don't think I'm programmed to use it, and I have no desire to use it. A handful of my friends are the same way."

My mom is at peace with her decision. She knows she's invited to the "party" as it were, but simply chooses not to attend. However, she realizes that there may be some parents who feel isolated if they're not actively involved in social media. While reading an article in "Parade" magazine today on a different subject, my mom found a good description of how those individuals might feel. The author of the article explained, "There's always a part of me that worries I'm one social misstep away from sitting alone in the cafeteria."

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So, what to say to the parent who wants to be informed about digital media on behalf of their family, but has an aversion to using the tools him/herself?

"Times have changed," we could say. "You've got to change along with them in order to keep up with everyone else in today's society. You should subscribe to everything good the digital world has to offer!" 

But that's not what I tell my mom. She has made changes and sacrifices for us kids for years and years, and I don't see a need for her "un-tech-savvy" identity to undergo a transformation in order for her to continue to connect with us in meaningful ways. She's not silly, paranoid, or out of touch. Old-fashioned, maybe (and "proud of it!"), but that doesn't mean she can't be informed - even digitally literate - about issues pertinent to her family. I am proud of her balanced approach to the digital revolution despite being someone who's not prone to embrace every aspect of it. And when I find myself enjoying being her personal "newsfeed" of sorts over the phone, I think I actually admire that she goes against the grain :). She has found ways to be involved in her family's digi-lives without conforming in a way that is contrary to her personal opinions.

She doesn't want a Facebook account of her own, but once in a while she'll sign on to my brother's. She'd rather stick with her anciently outdated e-mail service, but she's created a Gmail account so she can use those features when she needs to and so she can keep up with our blogs. She won't win any speed-texting competitions, but I love receiving frequent pix messages from her, whether it's to get my opinion about an item of clothing or to share a sweet photo of my new niece. She doesn't have an iPod or iPhone of her own (proudly relying on her boombox and basic cell phone, several years old now), but she has familiarized herself with these new gadgets enough to set clear restrictions/expectations for their use in our home.

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For our fireside, Digital Sweet Home wants to accentuate the positive effects of the digital age on the family, focusing on the principles of communication, trust, and unity using Church publications, statements from leaders, our personal examples and the collective wisdom of the group that attends. But our message is not that every online resource, tool, and opportunity must be embraced by parents in order to be good parents. Our goal is to educate, offering ourselves as a generational bridge, and then to encourage parents to prayerfully consider their own family's needs and act accordingly.